Quotes That Will Give You The Giggles
Since laughter is the best medicine in good times and bad, we've rounded up more than two dozen funny love quotes that will make you giggle. From pragmatic views of marriage to silly zingers about romance in old age, we've got a list of quips from celebrities and comedians that will make your Valentine's Day brighter and funnier. Don't miss these 15 most romantic quotes from books.
When you take a sensible view of romance...
"I love love, and I'm very hopeful and was raised on all the fairy tales everyone else had. I just noted that everyone's mom was dead and real princesses get beheaded, so I just have a more realistic take on it." -Amy Schumer
Actress, comedian Amy Schumer has clearly seen her fair share of fairy tale romances and silly childhood love triangles as this funny love quote surmises. How about you? Can you name all the princes, princesses, and villains? See how high you score on our Disney trivia quiz.
When love is a one-way street...
"Just because you are blind and do not see my beauty does not mean it doesn't exist." -Margaret Cho
Stand-up comedian Margaret Cho mixes up a little sass and straight talk in this statement about how love can be blind in more ways than one. Read more inspiring quotes to help you love your body, warts and all.
When love equals brutal honesty...
"Love is telling someone their hair extensions are showing." -Natasha Leggero
Former MTV host and comedian Natasha Leggero knows what makes loyalty quotes a true blue friend or lover: honesty! What's more loving than pointing out the spinach in your teeth or eyeliner smudged down your cheek? Not much. But remember that softening the blow is also acceptable, like with these 5 lies it's okay to tell your partner.
When experience is the best teacher...
"Being a good husband is like being a stand-up comic. You need 10 years before you can call yourself a beginner." -Jerry Seinfeld
Comedian Jerry Seinfeld, who has been a comedian for more than 30 years, knows what it takes to move from an amateur to a pro. Now that he's two decades into his marriage, we hope he's made it past the "novice husband" level! Find more of his signature humor in these 11 classic Seinfeld quotes.
When you want to see what your partner's really made of...
"Before you marry a person, you should first make them use a computer with slow Internet to see who they really are." -Will Ferrell
Actor Will Ferrell knows a thing or two about pushing people's buttons. In this funny love quote, Ferrell suggests testing your mate's patience before putting a ring on it.
When you're working on self-love this Valentine's Day...
"If you're working out in front of a mirror and watching your muscles grow, your ego has reached a point where it is now eating itself. That's why I believe there should be a psychiatrist at every health club, so that when they see you doing this, they will take you away for a little chat." -Lewis Black
Comedian Lewis Black doesn't hold back from poking fun at gym rats or selfie addicts in this funny love quote, but that doesn't mean you can't indulge in a little self-care this year. To help, we've rounded up 53 purchases that will take your life and self-care to the next level in 2020.
When love is persistent...
"Love is a lot like a backache, it doesn't show up on X-rays, but you know it's there." -George Burns
Cigar-puffing comedian George Burns was full of zingers about life, including these funny quotes. But all that back-aching love must have done some good: He lived to age 100, dying in his Beverly Hills home in 1996.
When you'd love a bouquet of roses...
"I think it's weird when you give someone flowers...Really saying here you go, now watch these die, cause I like you. I feel like you should give someone flowers if you want to threaten them, here you're next. Better put your feet in water 'cause I'm coming for you." -Demetri Martin
The Daily Show contributor Demetri Martin is well into his second marriage, so maybe he does have a few tricks up his sleeve for the rest of us. But the question remains: If not flowers, what does he give his wife on Valentine's Day? Perhaps one of these best Valentine's Day gifts of all time.
When you're thinking deep thoughts at a wedding...
"I was the best man to a wedding one time...I thought, best man...If I'm the best man, why is she marrying him?" -Jerry Seinfeld
Good question, Jerry! Why not take a page from the other side of the aisle and call your best male friend "the man of honor" or "groom's man" instead? Wedding titles and traditions are fascinating. Read more about these lucky wedding traditions from around the world.
When you're debating the merits of marriage...
"You can be married and bored, or single and lonely. Ain't no happiness nowhere." -Chris Rock
Source: Quotesjin.com
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